I meant to publish a post in this blog a while ago, but as of yet hadn’t worked up the courage to do it. There is something a bit scary and permanent about words in print, and to be perfectly honest, I am a bit afraid of feedback. However, in class on Friday, I really felt the Lord speak to my heart on a particular subject, and I want to share the encouragement I’ve received. My hope is that this humble entry will encourage my fellow mothers as we raise future world changers.
Friday we had a guest speaker in school. Keith is a great drummer who has taught many students, my husband included, but I have never heard him teach. Friday morning Keith’s topic was “Flowing in the Anointing.” Considering the fact that he was talking to a bunch of Worship and Technical Arts majors at a Christian Bible School, naturally his topic concerned leading worship and how we need the Holy Spirit to do so. However, as he began to speak and share scripture after scripture, the Lord began to speak to my heart about flowing in the anointing and how it relates to mothering. The following is just a little excerpt from his teachings. I am going to try to be painstakingly honest in the following discourse, because 1) The Lord has impressed on my heart that I need to be more vulnerable with other mothers and not act like I constantly “have it together” (yikes!); and 2) I feel (I hope!) I must not be the only one who struggles from time to time with insecurities and inadequacy in mothering.
Mothering –and doing it well—is something I question myself about often. Am I doing it right? Am I good enough? What if I’m too tough? Too soft? Does E know her ABC’s yet? Does she need to? Is it bad that she just ate half a container of play dough? There are days when I feel like I am confidently walking in the calling God gave me, and there are days when I wake up and I wonder if I am truly the best mother God could have picked for these three. There are things in my own childhood that I don’t want repeated in theirs, and sometimes ‘not repeating’ is at the forefront of my mind rather than simply enjoying who they are. This can get compounded by fabulous social network posts of friends who share all of the amazing things they are doing with their children – baking cookies, homeschooling, ABC’s, working on a cure for cancer…. and before you know it, I have unknowingly—yet voluntarily—locked myself up in a comparison-based, “I’m not good enough” box. I want to make sure to point out that I don’t discredit or secretly dislike these Mommy Moment posts, I really don’t! I myself post them, too. And I would much, much rather read about my friends’ amazing motherly experiences than to hear that their families are experiencing rough times or misfortune. However, on days that I feel insecure, through no fault of their own, they kindle a fire that is already burning.
Anyway, back to class Friday. Keith began speaking on flowing in the anointing. This is a topic that probably isn’t very foreign to someone with a Pentecostal background, but in case that isn’t you, to put it simply, the anointing of God is when the Holy Spirit empowers you to do a certain task. It’s not scary or weird, and you don’t have to speak in tongues or heal people or anything crazy in order to be anointed. The Bible says that as Christians, we all have the Holy Spirit living inside of us (1 Corinthians 6:19; John 14:17). I am not writing this to get into specific hermeneutics or scripture study (I have Keith’s notes if you want that), but to simply express what I feel God spoke to my heart. I will let Keith’s notes to the talking (again, these are straight from the notes he shared with us at class last Friday):
What is the anointing of God?
Luke 4:18 “’The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor, He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.” -NLT
The anointing of God upon ones live expresses the empowerment of God’s Holy Spirit. To empower means to give power or authority; to authorize; to enable to permit one to do a legal act or work. When one is empowered, they are commissioned as a qualified agent to do the work or legal act. (see Acts 1:8) When the Spirit of the Lord comes upon one, they are now able to act in a manner far superior than their natural ability. There is a capacity of divine power that is given to that person by the Spirit of God to do a supernatural act of God. When God anoints one, they are able to operate in Gods’ divine nature of power, wisdom, creativity, courage, revelation, prophetic inspiration, knowledge, skill, authority and many other great acts of God. God anoints us with His Holy Spirit so that we can do an act or a work for the glory of His holy name. The anointing of the Holy Spirit on our lives indicates that God is with us.
When I heard and read these words in light of being a mother, God began to reveal to me through His Word that I am called and I am chosen to be my children’s mother. There is nothing that I can or could have done to earn that right. They are a gift of God, through no act of my own. There is no way I could have dreamt up Z’s exuberance, or E’s sweet smile and snuggles, or J’s grunts and giggles. I don’t need to worry or fret over what I am doing or not doing to be a good mother when I have God’s anointing to simply be their mother. He will provide the specifics. And He will give me the grace and strength to love and train them, because the calling and the privilege is from Him alone. So many times I strive to ‘do’ or to perform, and the Lord showed me in these moments that I am simply called to ‘be.’ When I rest in Him and simply accept His love, His strength, His provision, His anointing to be my children’s mother, the worry and stress of constantly trying to do the right thing lifts.
Dear mothers, I simply want to encourage you with these words as I was encouraged. You are loved. You are called. You are anointed. Motherhood is not a task or duty, or simply the facilitated means by which children grow into adults. It is a calling. You are called. You are chosen. God lovingly, carefully, deliberately chose you. On the days you feel less than good enough, simply rest in your Father and know that He called you to ‘be’ and not to ‘do.’ Let the love He fills you with spill over into their lives like a big, warm, messy cup of cocoa. He will work out the ‘doing’ part as we learn to daily simply be and live in Christ.